Mostly Honest is a publication from the inside corners of my heart and brain. It is more than just a collection of words it’s a living, breathing tapestry woven from the threads of tender moments of existence, exploring the intricate dance of sobriety, mental health, the quiet yet profound growth that comes from within, the ebb and flow of love, and the nuanced art of simply being human.
About Mostly Honest
Most of us are honest about nearly everything. We report the facts, we answer the question, we say we’re doing well and we even mean it, sort of. And then there’s the last inch. The thing we edit out. The part of the story where the director’s cut stays private. We are, all of us, mostly honest, and the “mostly” is where we actually live everyday.
Mostly Honest is a weekly letter about closing that gap. Out loud. Imperfectly. In front of witnesses, which turns out to be the only way it works.
Why I’m Writing
I got sober. All the way sober, no moderation, no almost. That part of my life is not mostly anything.
But when I got sober, I realize the substances left and yet the performing stayed. I was still saying “good!” with an exclamation point I didn’t feel. Still handing people the press release version of my life. Getting clean fixed the drinking and using and left the hiding completely intact, and the hiding, it turns out, was always the bigger problem.
So this is not a sobriety newsletter, exactly, though sobriety is where I learned everything I know about telling the truth. And it’s not only for women in recovery, though they’ll recognize themselves here first and fastest. It’s for any woman who has ordered the salad in public and eaten something else in the car. Who has a text thread she deletes. Who posts through the hard week and captions it “grateful.” Who learned, young and thoroughly, that being fully seen was dangerous, and has been editing herself ever since.
If you grew up in the 90s and 2000s, you were trained for this. We all were. I write about that too.
It’s Mostly Madeline
I’m a writer, poet, curious mind, and woman in recovery. I’ve spent years building rooms where people gather and tell the truth, and I’ve watched hundreds of people say the unsayable and get loved anyway. This newsletter is me finally doing in public what I’ve spent a career helping other people do: going first.
Remember, I’m not your therapist. I’m just your proof.
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Connect with me, @itsmostlymadeline
